The best disgusting jokes

Sperm 1: How much longer tell we get to the egg? Sperm 2: We've still got a long way to go. We're only half way down the esophagus.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What's grosser than gross? A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
Vote: has 64.21 % from 159 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: catholic, disgusting, jewish, wife
What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
Vote: has 63.89 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? A: "How are we supposed to find an egg in all this sh*t?"
Vote: has 63.81 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, gay
What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield? His Butt!
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "One burger!" Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill. "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," the old lady says. "Yeah?" says the counterman. "You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
There was a vampire who sucked people's blood for many centuries. God was very angry at the vampire and said to him, "You're going to hell!" The vampire fell to his knees and said, "God, I beg of you, give me one more chance to be good." God agreed. Then the vampire said, "I want to be light, fluffy, and white like a cloud." "That seems easy enough," replied God. "I would also like to have wings like an angel." "OK," replied God. Since God had said yes to all his requests, the vampire decided to ask for a very greedy request. "God, if possible, could you let me suck a little blood?" "Sure," replied God, "but only once a month." And he turned the vampire into a maxi pad with wings.
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, god
1 woman and 9 men shipwreck on a deserted island. After one week, the woman, disgusted by the things she was doing, kills herself. After another week, the men, disgusted by the things they were doing, buried her. After another week, the men, more disgusted by the things they were doing, dug her up.
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
Vote: has 63.30 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, life, money