If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
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Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law."
The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
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Never hold in a fart; that's something an asshole would do.
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Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a
Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes.
"Wow! What a great idea," he thinks to himself and buys three of them.
Two weeks later, however, he goes back to using toilet paper.
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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs.
A: Ground Beef!
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Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
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If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.
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