Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind. The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep." So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!" And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."
What do you call an incestuous nephew? An aunt-eater.
Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what." Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready." Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave." Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know." Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you." Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does." Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry." Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red." Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going." Her: "I'm really on my period." Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes. "Wow! What a great idea," he thinks to himself and buys three of them. Two weeks later, however, he goes back to using toilet paper.
If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.
A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems. This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy. There is only one side effect. That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? A: The taste
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.
Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today! "Shut up and keep digging, boy."
Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea? A: Lots of room.