The best disgusting jokes

Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? A: Pick it up and suck it's dick.
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has 63.32 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? A: After a night of visiting children, they both have empty sacks.
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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has 63.26 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it could go. The first little old lady had a stroke, the second little old lady also had a stroke, but the third little old lady couldn't reach.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, old people
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do." "But I don't have the fingers!" "Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor. "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, work
After a recent football game, the team went into the locker room to get out of their uniforms and to shower. In the showers, Bubba noticed that Duke has a cork shoved up his butt-hole. So, Bubba asked, "Duke, why in the world do you have a cork up your butt?" Duke answered, "Last night when I was cleaning my antique brass lamps, a genie came out of one of them. The genie said that I had one wish. I was really startled and I replied, "No shit!"
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, football, genie
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month.
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has 63.02 % from 256 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, lesbian, time
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning. Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, fart, nurse, old people
While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes. "Wow! What a great idea," he thinks to himself and buys three of them. Two weeks later, however, he goes back to using toilet paper.
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, "Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world." Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, work
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