If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Birdie, birdie in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I'm a big girl I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
Never hold in a fart; that's something an asshole would do.
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes. "Wow! What a great idea," he thinks to himself and buys three of them. Two weeks later, however, he goes back to using toilet paper.
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs. A: Ground Beef!
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.