The best disgusting jokes

Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, time
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
Vote: has 67.64 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog, political
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
Vote: has 67.52 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting
Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"
Vote: has 67.11 % from 240 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, women, work
There was a horny young lady named Lil, Who fucked dynamite sticks for a thrill. They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits in Brazil!
Vote: has 66.96 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself. Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!" Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay? A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.
Vote: has 66.69 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, gay
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, divorce, food, husband, women
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, disgusting, pirate
There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?" He replied, "No I think I'll wait." So they continue down the road and the first bum said, "Look - some more road kill, I'm still hungry. How about you?" His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait." The first bum ate the road kill. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke. The first bum said, "I thought you weren't hungry?" His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, disgusting, food