The best disgusting jokes

Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
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More jokes about: disgusting, winter
There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!" "I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!" The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string. The woman said, "You're going out as that?" "Yes," said the old man. "If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, disgusting, Halloween, old people
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, disgusting, pirate
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning. Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, family, fart, nurse, old people
One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap." The other man says, "Who?" The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
Vote: has 66.21 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy. The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl. A few seconds later the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?" "Sure," said the little boy. The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said. "Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Vote: has 66.16 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Birdie, birdie in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I'm a big girl I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bird, disgusting, poems
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? A: After a night of visiting children, they both have empty sacks.
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting