Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache? A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
Q: What do you call a Shih-Tzu mixed with a poodle? A: A Shih-Tzpoo.
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?" "Sure, why do you ask." "I was going to offer you some toast." "How kind of... I'll accept." "Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger." "You're right about that!" "Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
Q: What has two legs and bleeds? A: Half a cat.
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.