The best disgusting jokes

What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue. What's even grosser than that? When one of them throws up.
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog
Q: What has two legs and bleeds? A: Half a cat.
has 39.21 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: cat, disgusting
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
has 38.53 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, dirty, disgusting, sex
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
has 38.48 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, gay, sex
A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist." The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, fart
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
has 38.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, marriage, time, women
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting
There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, disgusting
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