The best disgusting jokes

Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
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has 38.27 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, lesbian, sex
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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has 37.45 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, kids, masturbation
Q: How do you piss off a man? A: Stand on his back and piss.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, mean, men
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, military
A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms. We have some for 75 cents a peace. The man asks for two. The pharmacist calculates the total and says, "That will be $1.58 with tax, sir." The pollock says, "Oh, these come with tacks? I was wondering how you keep them on."
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, cat, disgusting, time
Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache? A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, disgusting
When you're neckin' with yer honey And your nose is kinda runny You might think it's funny... But it's not.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What do you call a Shih-Tzu mixed with a poodle? A: A Shih-Tzpoo.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
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