The best disgusting jokes

Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
has 39.30 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, gay, sex
How is a soyburger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat.
has 38.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, masturbation
Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby? A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
has 38.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, "Gimme anything you got." So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside." She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again. He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?" She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
has 38.74 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, military, money
Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."
has 38.74 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dad, disgusting, fart
What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"
has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, disgusting
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
has 37.63 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, marriage, time, women
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
So that there be less strife May your dreams be sweet And your ass does not tweet tonight.
has 37.45 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, poems, vulgar
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