The best disgusting jokes

What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.
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has 38.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
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has 38.21 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, lesbian, sex
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
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has 38.14 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like. "A cup of boiled water please" "Water? I thought you guys drank blood" "Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire while taking out a tampon.
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: bartender, disgusting
"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?" "Sure, why do you ask." "I was going to offer you some toast." "How kind of... I'll accept." "Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger." "You're right about that!" "Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, time
What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting, war
A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time." The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off. So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick. All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day. He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights. All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, music
Q: What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public? A: A private tooter.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
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