"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?" "Sure, why do you ask." "I was going to offer you some toast." "How kind of... I'll accept." "Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger." "You're right about that!" "Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
Q: What has two legs and bleeds? A: Half a cat.
There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"
Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!
Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache? A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
When you're neckin' with yer honey And your nose is kinda runny You might think it's funny... But it's not.