The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like. "A cup of boiled water please" "Water? I thought you guys drank blood" "Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire while taking out a tampon.
Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend? A: He wiped.
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.
What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay? A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.