The best disgusting jokes

There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, disgusting
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
Vote: has 36.30 % from 122 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, lesbian, sex
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
Vote: has 36.08 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, marriage, time, women
When you're neckin' with yer honey And your nose is kinda runny You might think it's funny... But it's not.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue. What's even grosser than that? When one of them throws up.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist." The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, fart
Q: Did you hear about the depressed proctologist? A: He's been feeling down in the dumps.
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale? Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting
what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute chicken goes cockadoodle do prostute goes any cock will do.
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting