What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
When you're neckin' with yer honey And your nose is kinda runny You might think it's funny... But it's not.
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water? A: A soggy butt.
What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue. What's even grosser than that? When one of them throws up.
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother? Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.
Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!
How do you unload a truck of zombie babies? With a pitchfork.