Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea?
A: One shucks between fits.
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"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?"
"Sure, why do you ask."
"I was going to offer you some toast."
"How kind of... I'll accept."
"Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger."
"You're right about that!"
"Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
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What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
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Q: Did you hear about the depressed proctologist?
A: He's been feeling down in the dumps.
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What's grosser than gross?
Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue.
What's even grosser than that?
When one of them throws up.
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Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
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Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's?
Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.
Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
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Did you hear about the 120-pound guy with the 30-pound testicles?
People say he was half-nuts!
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What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?
Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
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Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
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