Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.
Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count? Eminem has to chew before swallowing.
Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.