Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!
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There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water.
The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood.
The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"
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Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's?
Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.
Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
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What is the difference between a fridge and a kid?
A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob.
On the wall? Art.
On the floor? Matt.
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How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count?
Eminem has to chew before swallowing.
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Q: Why does a dog lick himself?
A: He can't make a fist.
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Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
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What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
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