What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.
Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend? A: He wiped.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob. On the wall? Art. On the floor? Matt.
A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms. We have some for 75 cents a peace. The man asks for two. The pharmacist calculates the total and says, "That will be $1.58 with tax, sir." The pollock says, "Oh, these come with tacks? I was wondering how you keep them on."
Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea? A: One shucks between fits.
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.