Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's?
Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.
Boy Monster: Is it still beating? 
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What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
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When you're neckin' with yer honey
And your nose is kinda runny
You might think it's funny...
But it's not.
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Q: What's brown and in the military?
A: Gomer's pile.
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What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
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Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common?
A: They just didn't listen
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A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses.
Which hits the ground first?
The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
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I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!
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Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget?
A: A spec.
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