Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water? A: A soggy butt.
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea? A: One shucks between fits.
Q: How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo? A: At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"
What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes.
What's small, and red, and full of holes? A baby on a bed of nails.
Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil? It depends on how hard you squeeze them.