Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water? A: A soggy butt.
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
What does Michael Jackson call a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll? Bait!
Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea? A: One shucks between fits.
Q: How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo? A: At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"
What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes.
What's small, and red, and full of holes? A baby on a bed of nails.
Q: What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public? A: A private tooter.
Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget? A: A spec.