How do you make stew out of a leper? Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup. And that kids, is how j met your mother.
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
Did you hear about the man who drank 5 gallons of tea? He drowned in his teepee!
How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?" "Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."
What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies? One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.