Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water? A: A soggy butt.
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
What does Michael Jackson call a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll? Bait!
Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea? A: One shucks between fits.