The best disgusting jokes

A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist." The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, fart
"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?" "Sure, why do you ask." "I was going to offer you some toast." "How kind of... I'll accept." "Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger." "You're right about that!" "Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, time
Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!
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has 35.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, insulting, Yo mama
What's grosser than gross? A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Did you hear about the depressed proctologist? A: He's been feeling down in the dumps.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses. Which hits the ground first? The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue. What's even grosser than that? When one of them throws up.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, disgusting
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale? Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
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