Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache? A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
So that there be less strife May your dreams be sweet And your ass does not tweet tonight.
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."
What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"
Q: What do you call a Shih-Tzu mixed with a poodle? A: A Shih-Tzpoo.
"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?" "Sure, why do you ask." "I was going to offer you some toast." "How kind of... I'll accept." "Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger." "You're right about that!" "Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
Q: Did you hear about the depressed proctologist? A: He's been feeling down in the dumps.