The best divorce jokes

Two coworkers were talking by the water fountain one guy said, "Today I got through the first step of getting divorced." The second guy replies, "Oh, did you go to Mr. Guggenheim? Everyone goes to him for divorces." The first man replies, "No, I just got married".
Vote:
has 53.72 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
Vote:
has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, divorce, marriage
Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.
Vote:
has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage
Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
Vote:
has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, divorce, marriage, wife, women
Q: If marriage is terrific what is divorce? A: Ten thousand!
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage, money
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
Vote:
has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: divorce, women
Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.
Vote:
has 35.73 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: divorce, redneck
Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? A: He thought his wife was a flake.
Vote:
has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage, wife
Question: What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence? Answer: Divorced.
Vote:
has 29.51 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: divorce, women
Q. What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A. Divorcee'
Vote:
has 16.16 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, divorce