Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.
I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
An Arabic kid joined my football team. All he did was blow the plays.
A Jew, a German and an American walked into a small room. The Jew never came out.
Q: "What do you call a Muslim shrink? A: A terrorpist."
Q: Did you hear about the Hungarian who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Hungarian Remover".
I gas the only problem I have with the wold now is all the deutchbags.
Donald Trump is a vain, arrogant, hateful pig. That's why Americans voted him in - he's just like them.
Q: Why do Americans like black candles? A: Because it reminds them of 'the good old days'.