Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth.
And now, you're in your Vegas years.
You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet.
But you're still the King.
Q: What do you call an African-American whose spouse just died?
A: A black widow.
Vote:
An Arabic kid joined my football team.
All he did was blow the plays.
Q: "What do you call a Muslim shrink?
A: A terrorpist."
A Jew, a German and an American walked into a small room. The Jew never came out.
Vote:
Q: Did you hear about the Hungarian who thought his wife was trying to kill him?
A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Hungarian Remover".
I gas the only problem I have with the wold now is all the deutchbags.
Vote:
Q: Why do Americans like black candles?
A: Because it reminds them of 'the good old days'.
Vote:
Donald Trump is a vain, arrogant, hateful pig.
That's why Americans voted him in - he's just like them.
Vote: