"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
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Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.
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How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three.
One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
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Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve?
A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
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Happy Father's Day!
I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it.
By the way, can I borrow $20?
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One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff.
Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt.
She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!"
She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman."
He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
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Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:None, the sockets go with the house.
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(A) You are not Tom Cruise,
(B) The guns may stop working at the last moment,
(C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you,
(D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf
(E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"