"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?
Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?
Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Stupid? He wanted to be a farmer. So he studied pharmacy.
What is a "successful hunting trip"? When three men kill 9 cases of Budweiser in two days