Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?" "Ever go a fishin'?" the policeman suddenly asked the man. "Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Did you ever catch 'em all?"
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and make sure that's your pa in there."
When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.