I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife."
Sara: "Wife?"
Mike: "I'm working on it."
Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself."
Mike: "You too."
I got stopped by a police officer on the way here.
He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Roses are red
violets are blue.
My dick has glue
I offer it to you.
Want to make a porno?
We don't have to tape it.
Chuck Norris doesn't flirt all he says is NOW.
Vote:
This elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up.
They say sex is a killer...
Do you want to die happy?
Vote:
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.