Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife."
Sara: "Wife?"
Mike: "I'm working on it."
Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself."
Mike: "You too."
Are you a candle?
Because I want to blow you.
Been chatting to a 14 yr old on the internet.
She is funny, s*xy and flirty.
Now she tells me she is an undercover cop.
How cool is that at her age!
Do you believe in love at first set?
Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?
How'd you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?
Do you work at a cattery?
Because I wanna be covered in pussy.
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
I got stopped by a police officer on the way here.
He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.