Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife."
Sara: "Wife?"
Mike: "I'm working on it."
Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself."
Mike: "You too."
How'd you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?
Been chatting to a 14 yr old on the internet.
She is funny, s*xy and flirty.
Now she tells me she is an undercover cop.
How cool is that at her age!
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
Do you believe in love at first set?
Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?
Are you a candle?
Because I want to blow you.
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
I got stopped by a police officer on the way here.
He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.