Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
Yo mama so ugly when she tried to flirt her face went inside out.
Roses are red violets are blue. My dick has glue I offer it to you.
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
This elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up.