How'd you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."
Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
Been chatting to a 14 yr old on the internet. She is funny, s*xy and flirty. Now she tells me she is an undercover cop. How cool is that at her age!
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?