Chuck Norris doesn't flirt all he says is NOW.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
A man, his wife and a good-looking stranger are stranded on a desert island. The wife quickly loses interest in her husband and begins flirting with the good-looking stranger. The three start to build a watchtower. The stranger offers to take first watch. While the husband and wife gather driftwood on the sand, the stranger yells, "Hey! No sex on the beach! Get back to work!" The husband yells back, "We're not having sex!" Later, the stranger yells out to them again. Again, the husband yells back and corrects him. This happens several times during the stranger's shift. Finally, the husband's takes his shift in the watch tower. His wife and the good-looking stranger make passionate love on the beach. The husband on watch exclaims, "Wow, it really does look like f**king from up here!"
Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!