Joke #12741

This elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up.

I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.

I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps... do you wanna help me verify this?

If you really want to loosen your pectineus, you should skip the squats and let me stretch them out.

Do you believe in love at first set? Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?

How'd you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?

I got stopped by a police officer on the way here. He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.

Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.

Do you squat here often?

You work at a corner store and a hot girl walks in. You ask for her number and she gives you a piece of paper with her phone number and address. She tells you to take her out today. She leaves and you tell your boss that you're going to f*uck the sh*t out of her and how you're going to rock her world. You go to her house and your boss is in the kitchen and the girl tells him, big daddy. You run out as fast as you can. You go to work the next day and the girl is there waiting for you and tells you that it's over between you two. Your boss asks you why didn't you go through with it. You tell him you thought you would be mad and fire me if you knew I was talking about your daughter. Your boss says I'm not her father in her Plummer. You ask him why she called him daddy. He says because that's my first name.

The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.