The best food jokes

Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex
Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam!
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: car, food, women
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my kale?"
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, health
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
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has 72.58 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Whats long and Black?? The KFC line.
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has 72.37 % from 350 votes. More jokes about: food, racist
First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: food, military
Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time. When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
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has 72.32 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, food, military
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
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has 72.17 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness, food, gym
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
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has 72.07 % from 350 votes. More jokes about: asian, blonde, food, life
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, customer service, food, mean, time
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