Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops? A: So they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus.
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. "These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce." She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"
While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"
Q: What do you call fake spaghetti? A: "I'm pasta."
Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Yo mamma is so fat when she tried to go to McDonald's she tripped over Wendy's and landed on Burger King.
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman: - Do you have any bananas? - No,I don't. ( says the barman) - Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey) - No,I have not got any bananas! - Do you have any bananas? - If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter! - Do you have any nails? - No,I don't. - Do you have any bananas?
My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.