The best food jokes

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
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has 71.78 % from 354 votes. More jokes about: asian, blonde, food, life
Cletus Cletus goes to work and sees that one of his co-workers has a thermos. He asks him what it does and the fellow co-worker responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." Cletus was amazed and when he got home immediately went out and bought one. The next day he goes to work and is proud that he has this wonderful object. The same co-worker realizes he has a thermos and says, "What do you have in it?" He says, "Soup and ice cream!"
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: food, life, work
What did the egg say to the boiling water? "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast? A: Mice Krispies.
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has 71.39 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: food, kitty
Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time. When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
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has 71.36 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, food, military
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
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has 71.34 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: baby, food
What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common? There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: food, music, women
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
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has 71.14 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, food
Yo' mama's breath so nasty, I don't know whether to give her Tic-Tacs or toilet paper!
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has 71.12 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: food, Yo mama
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