The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
Hey girl, your body reminds me of Mcdonalds, because I'm loving it!
Chuck Norris shot an arrow down with an apple.
Q: What's long and hard and has cum in it?
A: Cucumber, dirty people.
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage.
Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.
Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead.
During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.
Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?"
Dave then got down on bended knee.
"Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?
Boobies.
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog?
A tourist.
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.