A tomato walks into work and a potato says:
"Hello, Tomatoe..."
He responds: "My name is not Tomatoe, it's just Tomato. How would you like it if I called you "Potatoe"?
"Well, that would just be weird because my name is Rick!"
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My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
Starbucks is offering a new drink to honor Nancy Pelosi.
They call it the "fullacrapuccino".
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Yo' mama's breath so nasty, I don't know whether to give her Tic-Tacs or toilet paper!
While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes.
The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops?
A: So they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus.
Cletus Cletus goes to work and sees that one of his co-workers has a thermos.
He asks him what it does and the fellow co-worker responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold."
Cletus was amazed and when he got home immediately went out and bought one.
The next day he goes to work and is proud that he has this wonderful object.
The same co-worker realizes he has a thermos and says, "What do you have in it?"
He says, "Soup and ice cream!"
Yo mamma is so fat when she tried to go to McDonald's she tripped over Wendy's and landed on Burger King.
Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family.
"I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one.
"That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
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Joke has 71.64 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving
Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road?
A: To go with the traffic jam!