The best food jokes

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
"Excuse me," he says to her, "do we know each other?" "Sure," she answers, "one of my children is yours!" The guy confused, thinks and suddenly remembers the only time he cheated his wife. So he asks her: "Were you that stripper invited at a bachelor party at the suburbs last spring and we ended up having wild sex in the kitchen? You had manacled my hands and you cramed a carrot in my a…!" The woman frowned answers: "No, I am your son’s philologist..."
Vote: has 72.70 % from 203 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, kids, sex, wife
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, political
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!' The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
Vote: has 72.34 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, lawyer
Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food? A: Gaelic breath.
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life
Chuck Norris put corns in the Milky Way and eat them at his breakfast.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench in front of a large pond. On the other side of the pond are vendors sell all types of food stuff. The wife turns to hubby and says, "I could really go for an ice cream cone." Hubby replies, "Well, I'll go get you one." Wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down." Hubby replies, "No I won't; what do you want?" Wife says, "Get me a strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles." Hubby replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll remember. Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns. The wife asks him, "What took you so long, did you get lost?" The hubby replies, "No, and I got what you wanted." The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries! Wife says, "I knew you you should have written the order down." Hubby says, "What do you mean - every thing is there." To which the wife replies, "No, it's not... look, you forgot the pickles!"
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, memory, old people, time
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, time
Q: What do you call fake spaghetti? A: "I'm pasta."
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, food
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob? A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
Vote: has 71.80 % from 145 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, wife