Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops? A: So they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus.
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist.
Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. "These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce." She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
Q: What do you call fake spaghetti? A: "I'm pasta."