The best food jokes

A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle. When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish. The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made. The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow. The diner agrees. The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish. When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small. He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies: "Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins".
Vote: has 82.81 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, travel
My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing? Apparently "heating your dinner" wasn't a good answer.
Vote: has 82.62 % from 877 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Vote: has 82.51 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it." Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks, "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house." "Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!" "Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"
Vote: has 82.33 % from 151 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bible, family, food, parrot
Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals? A: He went down really well!
Vote: has 82.31 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
Vote: has 82.01 % from 2141 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
Vote: has 81.98 % from 1233 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, insulting, lawyer, stupid, Yo mama
A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London. The waiter tells them, "Excuse me if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease." The Texan says, "What's a shortage?" The Russian says, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life
Q: How do you find how many fat people are in America? A: Throw a cookie into the street.
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, geography
A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast. On her way over there she runs into sister Jane and she says, "Hi sister Jane," by which sister Jane says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed sister. She did not understand what sister Jane meant by that so she ignored it and went on. She was passing by the garden when she ran into sister Roberta and she says, "Good morning sister Roberta I am having a great day. Sister Roberta says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed." The nun was wondering why everybody she met kept saying that when she felt great so she decides to go and see mother superior. She asks mother superior, "Everybody keeps telling me that I got off on the wrong side of the bed when I feel great and mother superior says,"That is because you have brother Johns shoes on."
Vote: has 81.57 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life