The best food jokes

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!" The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused. Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
Vote: has 79.46 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, god, hunting, religious
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. "These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce." She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"
Vote: has 79.35 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, animal, food, life, travel
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Her wedding cake.
Vote: has 79.24 % from 1260 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, marriage, sex, wedding
A Boyfriend texts his Girlfriend saying "Hey babe you wanna come over and have sex?" Girlfriend texts back "Duh!" So the girl goes over her Boyfriends house, and right before they get into it, he sets the boundaries. "Ok, so my little brother is home, and I have bunk beds. He's on the bottom bunk. If you want it harder, you say tomato. If you want it faster, you say lettuce, and if you want to moan you say any other ingredients that would be on a sandwich." So they're up on the top bunk having sex, and she's yelling "Tomato! Tomato! Lettuce! Lettuce! Cheese! Cheese!" Well the little brother is still on the bottom bunk and yells "Hey can you guys knock it off, your getting Mayonnaise all over me!!!"
Vote: has 79.19 % from 633 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
Vote: has 79.04 % from 132 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, food, relationship
Yo mama is so stupid, she returned a doughnut cause it had a hole in it.
Vote: has 78.93 % from 416 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
Vote: has 78.92 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, fat, food, kids, relationship
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job? A: He was caught beating his meat.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, work
Facebook is like a fridge. Even when u know there's nothing new going on, u still go on & check it every 10 minute.
Vote: has 78.61 % from 725 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Facebook, food
Chuck Norris shot an arrow down with an apple.
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food