"Why are you studying your Easter candy?"
"I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?
They hid their own eggs!
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Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most?
A: Fry-days.
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night?
A: They don't want to get "beat up".
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner?
He was already stuffed!
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A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."