The best food jokes

This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, food, husband, new year, women
William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: food, money
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal." Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit." (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, food, life
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
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has 45.25 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, little Johnny, school, sex
Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
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has 45.17 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: food, jewish, racist
Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
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has 44.47 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
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