Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some haywire!
One day Adam and his parents were at the mall.
Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way.
He got a bag of chips and a drink.
He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
Customer: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny."
Waiter: "Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?"
What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? Donut Seeds.
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Baked Beings.
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The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
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A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer.
A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"
"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.
"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.
"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him.
"We put sugar and cream on ours."
My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals.
Tired of it after several months, I said, “I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch.”
“Fair enough. From now on I’ll make my own,” he replied.
A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him after wards.
“We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like,” he suggested.
I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order.
My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, “Separate checks, please…”
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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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