Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common?
A: They both wiggle when you eat them!
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore.
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
Vote:
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer.
A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"
"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.
"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.
"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him.
"We put sugar and cream on ours."
Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
Vote:
How do you lead a horse to water?
With lots of carrots.
Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some haywire!
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?
Vitamin bills!
Vote:
Yo momma’s so stupid, when I told her it was chilly outside she ran and got a bowl.
Customer: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny."
Waiter: "Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?"