Yo' Mama is so fat, she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box.
The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner.
Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck.
The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up.
Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in.
"Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."
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Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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What are Women Really Thinking?
So many men, so few who can afford me.
Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich.
Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares?
And your point is?
Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
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