The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
What do you call a school bus full of black people?
A rotten banana.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thinks the Wu-Tang Clan is a Japanese orange drink company.
What do you get when you cross a bunny with an orange?
A pip squeak.
Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him."
Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud.
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's
office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation.
"Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one.
"You didn't really do that, did you?"
"You would never get through basic training," scoffed another.
The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him.
When she finally spoke, she simply asked,
"Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?"
What are Women Really Thinking?
So many men, so few who can afford me.
Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich.
Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares?
And your point is?
Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box.
I'm not saying I'm racist at all, but...
I put chocolate milk in back of the fridge.