A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world.
Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber.
“That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner.
Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck.
The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up.
Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in.
"Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment?
Potpourri.
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes?
A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps.
Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
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