What do you call a school bus full of black people? A rotten banana.
What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? Donut Seeds.
What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals. Tired of it after several months, I said, “I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch.” “Fair enough. From now on I’ll make my own,” he replied. A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him after wards. “We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like,” he suggested. I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order. My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, “Separate checks, please…”
Q: What do gay horses eat? A: Hay.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.