Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner.
Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck.
The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up.
Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in.
"Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment?
Potpourri.
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes?
A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps.
Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew?
A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
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