There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick. He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed: Have you been doing anything unusual? And he said: No. So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks. So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked: Have you been doing anything at all unusual? And the guy said: Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay? A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
Two cows were talking.One cow asked the other" I wonder what hamburgers are made of?" The other cow replied "YOUR MOM!
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a women? A: The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Yo mama's so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!
What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
Yo' Mama's breath is so nasty, it makes onions cry.
Q: Do you know what happends with a nigger if he sticks up 12 varningssigns in his ass? A: He becomes a toblerone!