Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together!
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
Q: What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water? A: I can't get a hard-on because I was just layed.
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...