Yo' Mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to cook instant rice.
Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets?
A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk
I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!
Q: What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water?
A: I can't get a hard-on because I was just layed.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.
Why do lions always eat raw meat?
"Because they don't know how to cook."
Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
A man walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the guy started to leave.
"Excuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what the guy had done.
"What was that all about?"
"Nothing", said the guy, "My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."