Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces." 
Yo mama's so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!
Vote:
Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
Vote:
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. ' You should give that money to charity,' said the shopkeeper.
'No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity!'
Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!
Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
Vote:
Yo Mama's like a fast food retaurant, she takes orders from the front and the back.
Why did the dolphin feel crabby?
Because he ate too many crabs.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a women?
A: The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick.
He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed:
Have you been doing anything unusual?
And he said: No.
So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks.
So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked:
Have you been doing anything at all unusual?
And the guy said:
Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.