I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
Teacher: Now, Ramu, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Ramu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Why do lions always eat raw meat? "Because they don't know how to cook."
Q: What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: I can't jelly my dick a baby's throat.
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper. "No, I'll buy the chocolate. YOU give the money to charity!"
Why did the blonde snort sweet n' low? She thought it was diet coke.
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk? A: The utter side.
A blonde walks into a library and says, "Can I have a burger and fries?" The librarian says, "I'm sorry, this is a library." So the blonde whispers, "Oh sorry! can I have a diet coke then?"
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A: A Budweiser in each hand!