The best food jokes

I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
Vote: has 28.38 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food
Teacher: Now, Ramu, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Ramu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Vote: has 26.95 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, god, school, teacher
Why do lions always eat raw meat? "Because they don't know how to cook."
Vote: has 26.83 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
Q: What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: I can't jelly my dick a baby's throat.
Vote: has 24.59 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper. "No, I'll buy the chocolate. YOU give the money to charity!"
Vote: has 24.28 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, money
Why did the blonde snort sweet n' low? She thought it was diet coke.
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, food
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk? A: The utter side.
Vote: has 24.11 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
A blonde walks into a library and says, "Can I have a burger and fries?" The librarian says, "I'm sorry, this is a library." So the blonde whispers, "Oh sorry! can I have a diet coke then?"
Vote: has 22.36 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, food
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Vote: has 21.38 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, food, mother in law
Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Vote: has 19.47 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food