The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.
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What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon?
"Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to cook instant rice.
Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
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How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed?
You can smell the carrots on his breath.
Your Momma is like Burger King "Have it Your Way".
What are Women Really Thinking?
So many men, so few who can afford me.
Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich.
Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares?
And your point is?
Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?"
"Sure, why do you ask."
"I was going to offer you some toast."
"How kind of... I'll accept."
"Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger."
"You're right about that!"
"Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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