The best food jokes

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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has 42.00 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, death, food, morbid
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato.
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. "Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one. "You didn't really do that, did you?" "You would never get through basic training," scoffed another. The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, "Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?"
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: food, military
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, weather
What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? Donut Seeds.
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
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has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, money, time
Yo' Mama is so fat, she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Two cannibals are eating an atheist, and one says to the other, "Can you believe the way this guy tastes?"
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: atheist, food
Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller? A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, stupid
What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
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