When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Q: What do gay horses eat?
A: Hay.
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner.
Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck.
The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up.
Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in.
"Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."
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Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza?
Pizzeria!
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Yo' Mama's breath is so nasty, it makes onions cry.
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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