I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
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Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets?
A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk
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Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
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A ham sandwich walked into a bar and the bartender said: "We don't sell to ham sandwiches."
But the sandwich replied: "That's okay, I only want a beer."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
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Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."