There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
Vote:
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner?
He was already stuffed!
Vote:
Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!
Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
Vote:
Q: What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water?
A: I can't get a hard-on because I was just layed.
Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets?
A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk
Vote:
I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
A ham sandwich walked into a bar and the bartender said: "We don't sell to ham sandwiches."
But the sandwich replied: "That's okay, I only want a beer."
Why do lions always eat raw meat?
"Because they don't know how to cook."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.