I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets? A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk
Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
A ham sandwich walked into a bar and the bartender said: "We don't sell to ham sandwiches." But the sandwich replied: "That's okay, I only want a beer."
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."