The best game jokes

Chuck Norris turns his game off while saving.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
The big-game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that he could recognize any animal’s skin by feeling it, and he could tell what caliber rifle was used to shoot it by locating the bullet hole. This was a bit too much for the other customers, and soon a heated argument started. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and the BET was on. They blindfolded him and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced, “Springbok.” Then he felt for the bullet hole and declared, “And it was shot with a 22 rifle.” He was right! The others could not believe it and the argument was even hotter than before. When someone suggested that he must have peeped, he said that he was prepared to do it again for another round. So they blindfolded him again, very thoroughly this time, and they brought a skin that someone happened to have in the trunk of his car. He took a bit longer this time and then said, “Kalahari Lion.” Fingering the bullet hole, he added, “The rifle was a 308.” He was right again! This only made the crowd more curious, and he had to prove his skills over and over again, every time winning a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, bombed out of his mind, and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. So he said to his wife, “Listen, I know I was drunk last night, but not too drunk to know that I didn’t get into a fight. So where did I get this black eye?” His wife replied angrily, “From me!” “What did I do?” he asked. She replied, “You got into bed and put your hand inside my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and announced, ‘Skunk, killed with an ax!’”
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, game, hunting
Q: Why couldn't the sailors play cards? A: The captain was sitting on the deck.
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: game, military, navy
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, game, kids
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, game
Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, fish, game
Billy and Joe were huge baseball fans. One day, both Billy and Joe made a pact that if either of them were to die; they had to come back to the other in the form of a ghost to let the other know if baseball was played in heaven. Sure enough, Billy dies and eventually comes to Joe one night in the form of a ghost. A startled Joe realizes it is the ghost of his deceased friend and says "Billy, it is so good to see you...so tell me, is there baseball in Heaven?". "Well", Billy says, "I have some good news and bad news for ya. First the good news...YES, there is baseball in heaven!". "Thank God!" Joe shouts... "What is the bad news?!". "You're pitching tomorrow."
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: game, god, heaven, sport
If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win. But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a Nintendo GameCube and turned it into a Gameboy.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: fat, game, Yo mama