The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast.
Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.
A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
Q: What do you call a computer expert?
A: A control-alt-elite.
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Yah!
Yah who?
Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
My software never has bugs.
It just develops random features.
A programmer had a problem.
He decided to use Java.
He now has a ProblemFactory.
The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better".
So I installed LINUX.
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.