The best geek jokes

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!" "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it!" "What about the PC?" "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys," "Which three?" "Control, Alt and Delete."
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has 78.25 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, life, vulgar
A photon is checking into a hotel and the bellhop asks him "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
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has 77.59 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: communication, geek, nerd, science, travel
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
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has 76.99 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, life
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university. After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast. Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ? The man hesitated for a second looking confused. Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
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has 76.48 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, programmer
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
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has 75.48 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: bar, coding, geek, IT, nerd
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, programmer
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
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has 73.43 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: geek, life, math, science
Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? A: Classical conditioning.
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has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: geek, nerd, science
On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, programmer, technology