The best geek jokes

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!" "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it!" "What about the PC?" "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys," "Which three?" "Control, Alt and Delete."
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has 77.86 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, life, vulgar
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
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has 77.53 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, money, technology
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
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has 76.73 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, life
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university. After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast. Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ? The man hesitated for a second looking confused. Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
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has 76.34 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, programmer
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
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has 76.22 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: geek, life, math, science
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
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has 73.89 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: bar, coding, geek, IT, nerd
Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? A: Classical conditioning.
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has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: geek, nerd, science
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, programmer
Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women? A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
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has 71.95 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: coding, dating, geek, IT, technology