Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
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New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...
I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe...
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support."
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er...
I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
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What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman?
"Immediately start downloading it."
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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