The best geek jokes

Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, geek, Halloween, IT, programmer
Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
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has 47.63 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, geek, IT, technology
New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, new year, technology
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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has 45.78 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, coding, geek, IT, technology
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
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has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, coding, computer, geek, IT
Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
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has 45.53 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, coding, computer, geek, IT
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR? A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, geek, nerd
Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
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has 43.58 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geek, IT, technology
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
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has 43.46 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: beauty, geek, IT, women
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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has 42.00 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geek, internet, IT, technology
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