What did God say when he made the first niggers?
Oops! Burnt another one! 
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Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee?
They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...
Q: What is so ironic about Atheists?
A: They're always talking about God.
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace.
"For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
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A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes.
When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?"
God responds, "You are what you are"
The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question.
One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes"
The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"
A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude.
The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs.
The nun realized this.
She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?"
The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?"
"Yeah, for sure..."
"And then... What are you waiting for...?"
"And so, God came forth and proclaimed widescreen is the best"
Sony 16:9
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Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
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God said let there be light.
Chuck Norris said say please.
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