The best god jokes

People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ”I’m Jesus Christ.” The first priest says, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.” So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest replies, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.” The drunk says, ”Look, I can prove it.” and walks back into the bar with the priests. The bartender takes on look at the drunk and exclaims, ”Jesus Christ, you’re here again?”
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, god, priest
Do you know why God is called "God"? Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?" Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, god
Yo mama so fat that when god said let there be light. When god saw her he said let there be darkness.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, god, ugly, Yo mama
I know when god becomes angry. When teenage girls get pregnant and their parents exclaim, "Oh god! What have you done?!"
Vote: has 50.00 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, life, teen
When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, love, women
A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
Vote: has 49.58 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, god
One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time." Then, God came to Eve to pass on some news too. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Eve looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Adam. The other organ I have for you is called a vagina. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Adam will be very happy that you now have this organ to give him children." Eve, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Eve and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time. While you're bleeding through one of them every 28 days, the other will remain useless."
Vote: has 49.36 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, god, kids
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer." "Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!" God replies, "You better send them up here immediately." Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them." God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you." Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Vote: has 48.41 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor, god, lawyer, teacher