The best god jokes

Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, god
Yo momma so poor I farted in her house and she bowed her head, stomped her feet and praised the lord saying " we got heat".
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, god, money
What did God say when he made the first niggers? Oops! Burnt another one!
Vote: has 55.88 % from 297 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, god
On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Sophie's feet are in agony. The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear Edward say, "God, that was tight." "There," whispers the Queen to the Duke, "I told you she was a virgin." Then, to their surprise, they hear Edward say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter." "That's my boy," says the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."
Vote: has 55.72 % from 117 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, god, marriage, wedding
Got said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, god, mean
God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god, life
People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out. "Good God!" exclaimed the hunter. Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, "I thought you don't believe in me." The hunter replied, "Up until now I didn't believe in 1,000-pound deer either."
Vote: has 54.66 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, god, hunting, religious
Black preacher is driving home from church and sees the white preacher walking down the road. He reluctantly pulls over to offer him a ride. A short distance along the way the whit guy says " you people don't actually think Jesus was black do you?" "And what makes think he's not?" The black pastor snaps back. The conversation becomes so heated less than needed attention was paid to the road and both men died in a trgic head on collision. When st. Peter opened the pearly gates to heaven before them, there stood Jesus Christ himself. He spread his arms slowly in a welcoming gesture and said "Buenos dias amigos!"
Vote: has 54.60 % from 164 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, church, death, god, heaven
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, life


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