Got said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
What did God say after creating man? I can do better.
What did God say when he made the first niggers? Oops! Burnt another one!
When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."
On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Sophie's feet are in agony. The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear Edward say, "God, that was tight." "There," whispers the Queen to the Duke, "I told you she was a virgin." Then, to their surprise, they hear Edward say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter." "That's my boy," says the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...
Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos. That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move.
Before god said, "Let there be light," he asked Chuck Norris,"Can light let there be?"
Black preacher is driving home from church and sees the white preacher walking down the road. He reluctantly pulls over to offer him a ride. A short distance along the way the whit guy says " you people don't actually think Jesus was black do you?" "And what makes think he's not?" The black pastor snaps back. The conversation becomes so heated less than needed attention was paid to the road and both men died in a trgic head on collision. When st. Peter opened the pearly gates to heaven before them, there stood Jesus Christ himself. He spread his arms slowly in a welcoming gesture and said "Buenos dias amigos!"
God created Adam, Adam saw Chuck Norris, Adam created tears.