The best god jokes

What did God say when he made the first niggers? Oops! Burnt another one!
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has 55.35 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: black people, god
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: god, life
Marge was cheating on her husband with another man when they heard a noise on the stairs. "Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?" "Just stay in bed with me. He's probably so drunk, he's not going to notice you." Sure enough, Marge's husband crawled into bed, but as he pulled up the covers, he exposed six feet. "Honey!" he yelled. "What the hell is going on? I see six feet at the end of the bed!" "Dear, you're so drunk, you can't count. If you don't believe me, count them again." The husband got out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. By damn, you're right, dear."
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has 53.48 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: drunk, god, husband, marriage
"And so, God came forth and proclaimed widescreen is the best" Sony 16:9
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: bible, god, technology
A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
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has 52.25 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god
Q: What is so ironic about Atheists? A: They're always talking about God.
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has 51.80 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: atheist, god
In the beginning, God created light because Chuck allowed him to.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. "For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, god, priest
So God is getting a bit bored in heaven, and he asks his archangel Michael, "Michael, I need to get away from it all for a bit. Where should I go to clear my head?" Michael replies, "Well, you could always go to Pluto. You could go create a mountain and ski, have a bit of fun." God says, "No, I don't think so. I don't do so well with the cold, and frostbite was definitely not one of my better creations." The archangels says, "Alright, well you could always try Mercury. It's nice and warm, you could just take a bit of time to relax, get a nice tan." "Michael," God says, "do you see how white I am? I would burn to a crisp." Michael replies, "Alright, well then why don't you go to Earth?" "Fuck that," God says, "last time I went there I got some girl pregnant and I never heard the end of it."
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has 50.69 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: geography, god, heaven, kids, sex
God said let there be light. Chuck Norris said say please.
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has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
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