The best god jokes

Black preacher is driving home from church and sees the white preacher walking down the road. He reluctantly pulls over to offer him a ride. A short distance along the way the whit guy says " you people don't actually think Jesus was black do you?" "And what makes think he's not?" The black pastor snaps back. The conversation becomes so heated less than needed attention was paid to the road and both men died in a trgic head on collision. When st. Peter opened the pearly gates to heaven before them, there stood Jesus Christ himself. He spread his arms slowly in a welcoming gesture and said "Buenos dias amigos!"
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has 55.46 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: black people, church, death, god, heaven
Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, god, money
What did God say when he made the first niggers? Oops! Burnt another one!
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has 54.95 % from 314 votes. More jokes about: black people, god
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: god, life
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
So God is getting a bit bored in heaven, and he asks his archangel Michael, "Michael, I need to get away from it all for a bit. Where should I go to clear my head?" Michael replies, "Well, you could always go to Pluto. You could go create a mountain and ski, have a bit of fun." God says, "No, I don't think so. I don't do so well with the cold, and frostbite was definitely not one of my better creations." The archangels says, "Alright, well you could always try Mercury. It's nice and warm, you could just take a bit of time to relax, get a nice tan." "Michael," God says, "do you see how white I am? I would burn to a crisp." Michael replies, "Alright, well then why don't you go to Earth?" "Fuck that," God says, "last time I went there I got some girl pregnant and I never heard the end of it."
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has 53.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: geography, god, heaven, kids, sex
A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out. "Good God!" exclaimed the hunter. Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, "I thought you don't believe in me." The hunter replied, "Up until now I didn't believe in 1,000-pound deer either."
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, hunting, religious
God created Adam, Adam saw Chuck Norris, Adam created tears.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
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has 53.07 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god
Marge was cheating on her husband with another man when they heard a noise on the stairs. "Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?" "Just stay in bed with me. He's probably so drunk, he's not going to notice you." Sure enough, Marge's husband crawled into bed, but as he pulled up the covers, he exposed six feet. "Honey!" he yelled. "What the hell is going on? I see six feet at the end of the bed!" "Dear, you're so drunk, you can't count. If you don't believe me, count them again." The husband got out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. By damn, you're right, dear."
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has 52.97 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: drunk, god, husband, marriage
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