The best god jokes

I know when god becomes angry. When teenage girls get pregnant and their parents exclaim, "Oh god! What have you done?!"
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has 50.67 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: god, life, teen
God said let there be light. Chuck Norris said say please.
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
Q: What is so ironic about Atheists? A: They're always talking about God.
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has 50.00 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: atheist, god
God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god, life
One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time." Then, God came to Eve to pass on some news too. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Eve looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Adam. The other organ I have for you is called a vagina. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Adam will be very happy that you now have this organ to give him children." Eve, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Eve and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time. While you're bleeding through one of them every 28 days, the other will remain useless."
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has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, god, kids
One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, god
A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life. The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood." So god turned him into a maxi pad.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, god, life
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, god
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, marriage, wife, work
Yo mama is so fat Jesus can't hold her holy spirit.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: fat, god, insulting, Yo mama
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