Do you know why God is called "God"? Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
Yo mama is so fat Jesus can't hold her holy spirit.
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?" Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"
A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life. The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood." So god turned him into a maxi pad.
God said let there be light. Chuck Norris said say please.
Q: Why did God create women? A: He took one look at men and said, "I know I can do better than this."
Q: Why Are black peoples hands and feet white? A: When God painted them he told them to assume the position
Q: Why do blacks have flat noses? A: That's where God put his foot when he pulled off their tails.
Yo mama so fat when god said let there be light she was told to move out of the way.