The best god jokes

God said let there be light. Chuck Norris said say please.
Vote: has 50.29 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?" "Yeah, for sure..." "And then... What are you waiting for...?"
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, love, women
One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, god
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, god, marriage, wife, work
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, god
Q: What is so ironic about Atheists? A: They're always talking about God.
Vote: has 48.41 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: atheist, god
A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life. The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood." So god turned him into a maxi pad.
Vote: has 47.62 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, god, life
Yo mama is so fat Jesus can't hold her holy spirit.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, god, insulting, Yo mama
Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?" Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, god
Yo mama so fat when god said let there be light she was told to move out of the way.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, god, Yo mama


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