I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost.
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers