The best Halloween jokes

I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
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has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, flirt, Halloween, sex
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, party
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, husband, kids
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Halloween, ugly, Yo mama
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, Halloween, morbid
Yo mama so ugly that she doesn't need a costume for Halloween.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween, stupid
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
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has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, geek, Halloween, IT, programmer
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
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has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, Halloween, teen
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