The best Halloween jokes

On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
Vote:
has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Vote:
has 63.93 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, flirt, Halloween, sex
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, party
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, Halloween, morbid
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Vote:
has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Halloween, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Vote:
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, husband, kids
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
Vote:
has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, geek, Halloween, IT, programmer
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween, stupid
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
Vote:
has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, Halloween, teen
<<<34
More jokes →
Page 3 of 4.