On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost.
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers