The best Halloween jokes

Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
has 74.17 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, flirt, Halloween, party
There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!" "I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!" The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string. The woman said, "You're going out as that?" "Yes," said the old man. "If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."
has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: couple, disgusting, Halloween, old people
Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? A: Hope it's Halloween!
has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, Halloween
A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "Trick or treat?" I looked at him and asked, "What have you come as?" He said, "A werewolf." I said, "But you're not wearing a costume. You've just got your normal clothes on." He said, "Yeah well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?"
has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, kids
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: bird, Halloween, technology
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Halloween, redneck, wife
Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, Halloween
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, flirt, Halloween, sex
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween
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