The best Halloween jokes

You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
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has 69.22 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Halloween, redneck, wife
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: food, Halloween, ugly, wife
Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, Halloween
Q: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? A: Wrap music!
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, music
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank. Moral of the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: business, Halloween, life
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: bird, Halloween, technology
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
Q: Know why skeletons are so calm? A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, Halloween
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, Halloween
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