Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!" "I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!" The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string. The woman said, "You're going out as that?" "Yes," said the old man. "If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost.
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
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