The best Halloween jokes

I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: food, Halloween, ugly, wife
A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank. Moral of the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: business, Halloween, life
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween? A: On blood vessels.
has 66.88 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: death, Halloween, travel
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!
has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: bird, Halloween, technology
Q: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? A: Wrap music!
has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, music
Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, Halloween
Q: Know why skeletons are so calm? A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, Halloween
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: doctor, Halloween
More jokes →
Page 2 of 4.