On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?"
Me: "Drunk"
Son: "What's mom gonna be?"
Me: "Mad"
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens.
And dies.
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Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
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In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
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I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween that in the end I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in.
Forget the ships.
My lighthouse, my rules...
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat".
The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as.
"I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.