On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "Trick or treat?"
I looked at him and asked, "What have you come as?"
He said, "A werewolf."
I said, "But you're not wearing a costume. You've just got your normal clothes on."
He said, "Yeah well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?"
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels.
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
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When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?"
Me: "Drunk"
Son: "What's mom gonna be?"
Me: "Mad"
Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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