The best health jokes

Chuck Noris once got his blood tested. His blood type was AK-47.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, health
How do you know Charles Sweeney was dyslexic? He wanted to order the flaming saganagi, but he accidentally ordered a flaming Nagasaki.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, geography, health, war
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant? A: She sneezes.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, health, stupid
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get underway. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses. At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!"
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: airplane, communication, dog, health
On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing. The ground was slippery. So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's penis. His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"
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has 63.58 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, health, little Johnny, women
Knock-knock Who is there? A shattered penis with many diseases. What kind of illness? Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis... Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
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has 63.11 % from 245 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, knock-knock, mother in law, vulgar
When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, health
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, money, wife
Yo mama so fat when Dracula bit her he said "1 diabete, 2 diabete, 3 diabete".
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: fat, health, Yo mama
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