The best health jokes

Yo' Mama is so stanky, she gets sourdough yeast infections.
Vote:
has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: health, insulting, Yo mama
An alcoholic addict just returned home from a rehab and he saw crate of empty bottles sitting at the corner and he goes there grab one and smacknit to the wall and said "you made my wife leave me." Grab another one and smashes it and said "you made me get fired from work" and grab another one which was full and was about to smash it and he brushes it and said "you were not part of them and open and drink...."
Vote:
has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, health, life, wife, work
One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test. While there, his blood got drawn and he then left. Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test. Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive." The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?" The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream." The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?" The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."
Vote:
has 49.69 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, gay, health, sex
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Vote:
has 49.30 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex
Yo mama's so stupid she studied for blood test and failed.
Vote:
has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: health, student, stupid, Yo mama
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, health, parrot
AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
Vote:
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health, time
My Prediction for the Mayweather Mcgregor fight. It becomes a Handicap Match against Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris ends it with a single roundhouse kick before the bell stops ringing.
Vote:
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
Vote:
has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: age, health, money, old people, wife
<<<18192021
More jokes →
Page 18 of 21.