The best health jokes

A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween, health, kids
AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it. "Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, death, health, hospital
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, health, money, old people, wife
Your moma is so ugly...she could make medicine sick!
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: health, ugly, Yo mama
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death, health, life
One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test. While there, his blood got drawn and he then left. Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test. Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive." The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?" The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream." The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?" The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."
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has 49.83 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, gay, health, sex
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health, time
Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment? A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: dentist, health, religious
The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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has 49.31 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
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