The best health jokes

An alcoholic addict just returned home from a rehab and he saw crate of empty bottles sitting at the corner and he goes there grab one and smacknit to the wall and said "you made my wife leave me." Grab another one and smashes it and said "you made me get fired from work" and grab another one which was full and was about to smash it and he brushes it and said "you were not part of them and open and drink...."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, health, life, wife, work
fi yuo cna raed tihs whit no porlbem, yuo aer smrat. Shaer ti whit yuor fienrds.
Vote: has 50.62 % from 332 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: health
Yo' Mama is so stanky, she gets sourdough yeast infections.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: health, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama's so stupid she studied for blood test and failed.
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: health, student, stupid, Yo mama
Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? A: An invalid.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, health
AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fish, food, health, little Johnny, math
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, health, time
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, health, money, old people, wife
"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, health


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