Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs?
A: An invalid.
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A boy with a physical disability has just returned from a summer camp.
His mum with an astonished face notices a diploma dancing for 1st place at the bottom of the boy's luggage.
Mum: "Jimmy, did you dance with a girl?"
Boy: "Nouuu."
Mum: "Did you dance with a boy then?"
Boy: "No, mum."
Mum: "So how did you get it?"
Boy: "I went to take some tea."
The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy twat!
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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese
"How are your hemorrhoids?"
"Swell."
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What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A salad shooter.
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The wife told me to talk to her like she was special the other day.
So I said, "gooooo ... annddd ... makkee ... meeee ... a ... cuuuppp ... offffff ... coofffeeeeeee ..."
What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it?
The AIDS team.
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Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.
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