The best health jokes

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dentist, food, health
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: health, old people
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, health, political
A boy with a physical disability has just returned from a summer camp. His mum with an astonished face notices a diploma dancing for 1st place at the bottom of the boy's luggage. Mum: "Jimmy, did you dance with a girl?" Boy: "Nouuu." Mum: "Did you dance with a boy then?" Boy: "No, mum." Mum: "So how did you get it?" Boy: "I went to take some tea."
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: health, stupid
Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? A: An invalid.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
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has 47.06 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: fish, food, health, little Johnny, math
The wife told me to talk to her like she was special the other day. So I said, "gooooo ... annddd ... makkee ... meeee ... a ... cuuuppp ... offffff ... coofffeeeeeee ..."
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: health, marriage, wife
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween, health, kids
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, music
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