In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold?
A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
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Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
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A father tells his son to stop jacking off.
"You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says.
The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
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Did you know Chuck Norris's tears was the curernto Cansa, but the problem was he never ever cried.
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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy twat!
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What do gays call hemorrhoids ?
Speed bumps.
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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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