Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack.
His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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A father tells his son to stop jacking off.
"You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says.
The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
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My dental hygienist is cute.
Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation.
If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
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A boy with a physical disability has just returned from a summer camp.
His mum with an astonished face notices a diploma dancing for 1st place at the bottom of the boy's luggage.
Mum: "Jimmy, did you dance with a girl?"
Boy: "Nouuu."
Mum: "Did you dance with a boy then?"
Boy: "No, mum."
Mum: "So how did you get it?"
Boy: "I went to take some tea."
Yo' Mama is so stanky, she gets sourdough yeast infections.
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?"
Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs?
A: An invalid.
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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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