The best health jokes

Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
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has 48.95 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex
Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
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has 48.65 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, health, masturbation
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dentist, food, health
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: health, old people
A boy with a physical disability has just returned from a summer camp. His mum with an astonished face notices a diploma dancing for 1st place at the bottom of the boy's luggage. Mum: "Jimmy, did you dance with a girl?" Boy: "Nouuu." Mum: "Did you dance with a boy then?" Boy: "No, mum." Mum: "So how did you get it?" Boy: "I went to take some tea."
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: health, stupid
Yo' Mama is so stanky, she gets sourdough yeast infections.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: health, insulting, Yo mama
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
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has 45.89 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: fish, food, health, little Johnny, math
Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? A: An invalid.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, music
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