What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection? An itchy, twitchy twat!
The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.
The wife told me to talk to her like she was special the other day. So I said, "gooooo ... annddd ... makkee ... meeee ... a ... cuuuppp ... offffff ... coofffeeeeeee ..."
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it? The AIDS team.
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold? A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.