The best health jokes

I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
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has 80.00 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: driving, health, stupid, work
Me: "I only smoke weed because of Cancer." Mom: "You don't have Cancer!" Me: "So it's working..."
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has 79.96 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: family, health, weed
"Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and couldn't see you there." "That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "It was MY fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?" "Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "Since I'm blind, I've never seen myself. Perhaps you could examine me and then we'll both know?" So the snake felt the bunny all over and said, "Well, you're soft and cuddly; you have long silky ears, a fluffy little tail and a twitchy little nose... you must be a bunny rabbit!" The little blind bunny was so pleased with this that he danced with joy. The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough. What kind of animal are you, sir?" The snake said he didn't know, for the same reason. The bunny agreed to examine him, and when he finished the snake asked, "So, what kind of animal am I?" The bunny said, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy, and you haven't got any balls. You must be a lawyer."
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has 79.96 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, lawyer
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
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has 79.93 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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has 79.57 % from 498 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, health
A fat lady (To a health expert): "Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness." Health expert: "Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a particular time." Fat lady: "At which particular time?" Health expert: "Whenever anybody asks you to eat."
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has 79.48 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: doctor, fat, health, life
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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has 79.36 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
You are in my heart, you are in my blood, you are in all my body. Alas, my doc says: "You are a parasite!"
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has 79.11 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: doctor, flirt, health, mean, romantic
Laughing is always good except when you have diarrhea.
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has 78.87 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
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has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, health, life
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