The best health jokes

What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym, health
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
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has 74.60 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
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has 74.51 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
Q: What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses? A: Bronchitis.
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, health, horse, medical
An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for relief. After a search, I found what I was looking for: a selection of heating pads specifically for people with back pain—all on the bottom shelf.
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: customer service, health, mean
A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!” The doctor replied, “Show me.” So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again. She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”
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has 74.40 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, women
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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has 74.36 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
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has 74.15 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Q: What's worse than having termites in your piano? A: Crabs on your organ.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: flirt, health, romantic
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