The best health jokes

In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, time
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
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More jokes about: driving, health, stupid, work
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
Vote: has 71.53 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, health
Q: What's brown and very bad for your dental health? A: A baseball bat.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dentist, health, sport
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, health, life
The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt. As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest. Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger. The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground meat and pressed it into a perfect patty in his armpit. Shocked an bewildered, the health inspector called for the manager and explained the gravity of the deplorable conditions he had seen. "That's nothing," replied the manager, "You should come back at five in the morning when he makes the donuts!"
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, health, life
Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, health, mean, men, women