The best health jokes

GOD said, “Adam, I want you to do something for me.” “Gladly, Lord,” replied Adam. “What do you want me to do?” “Go down into the valley.” “What’s a valley?” asked Adam. God explained to him, then said, Cross the river.” “What’s a river?” God explained it to him, and then continued, “Go over the hill…”. “What’s a hill?” God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, “On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave.” “What’s a cave?” After God explained, he said, “In the cave you will find a woman.” Adam asked, “What’s a woman?” So God explained that to him too. He continued, “I want you to reproduce.” “How do I do that?” “Jeez,” God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the cave where he found a woman.” A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, “What’s a headache?”
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has 73.45 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: god, health, sex, women
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
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has 72.97 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geography, gym, health
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my kale?"
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, health
How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
Laughing is always good except when you have diarrhea.
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has 71.86 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health
Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS? A: A sharp pain in the ass.
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has 71.86 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: health, medical, sex
Two dyslectic fellas sat in the kitchen... Fella 1: "Ere, can you smell gas?" Fella 2: "Who me? No... I can't even smell my own name!"
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, health, stupid
Q: What's worse than having termites in your piano? A: Crabs on your organ.
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
Knock-knock Who is there? A shattered penis with many diseases. What kind of illness? Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis... Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
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has 71.29 % from 537 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, knock-knock, mother in law, vulgar
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class." Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?" The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think." The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?" The old man said, "I thought it was gas - but I was wrong, too!"
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has 71.00 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: age, health, medical, old people, student
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