The best health jokes

How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
Vote: has 74.05 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, health
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
Vote: has 73.93 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
Vote: has 73.93 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven
Some members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, "Now, I’d like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine." Several people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one obviously overweight members said, "I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I exercise frequently." "Hmm?" said the manager. "And are you sure you having nothing else to add?" "Well, yes," said the member. "I lie extensively."
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: health, life
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: health, lawyer, medical, stupid
Q: Why is a blood bank more profitable than a sperm bank? A: The sperm is handmade.
Vote: has 73.44 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, health, money
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Vote: has 73.25 % from 76 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
Vote: has 73.13 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fitness, gym, health
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
Vote: has 73.02 % from 97 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, health


<<<6789
More jokes →
Page 6 of 20.