The best health jokes

Q: Why is a blood bank more profitable than a sperm bank? A: The sperm is handmade.
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has 78.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty, health, money
Me: "I only smoke weed because of Cancer." Mom: "You don't have Cancer!" Me: "So it's working..."
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has 78.31 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: family, health, weed
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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has 78.06 % from 561 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, health
Drink water, let's surprise the liver!
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, health
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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has 77.60 % from 254 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?" Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor." Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?" Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."
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has 77.49 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, health, hospital, life
Q: What is the difference between a Vitamin and a Hormone? A: You can't hear a vitamin.
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has 77.47 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: health, insulting, medical, women
Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?" Voice: "This is my father."
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has 77.41 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dad, health, kids, teacher
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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has 77.41 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news." "What's the bad news?" asks the accused. "The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it." "What's the good news?" "Your cholesterol is 130."
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has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, lawyer, prison
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