The best health jokes

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Vote: has 76.27 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
An old man goes to his doctor. The doctor says "I got some bad news for you. you have Cancer and you have Alzheimer's." And the old man says "At least I don't have Cancer."
Vote: has 76.11 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, health, old people
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, money
Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?" The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, health
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
Vote: has 75.65 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, health
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Vote: has 75.57 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
Q: Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops? A: Apparently they make you look hard.
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, medical, viagra
Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." Boy: "Really?" Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, medical, Valentines day
A woman comes up to me and says, "Hey sexy you lost 185 lbs and now you have money." "You wanna be my sugar daddy?" "Nope I'm diabetic!"
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, health, money, stupid