The best health jokes

Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?" The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, health
Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
Vote: has 78.15 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Vote: has 77.53 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Me: "I only smoke weed because of Cancer." Mom: "You don't have Cancer!" Me: "So it's working..."
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, health, weed
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
Vote: has 77.20 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
The Teacher asked Little Johnny, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?" Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."
Vote: has 77.16 % from 249 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, health, little Johnny, teacher
An old man goes to his doctor. The doctor says "I got some bad news for you. you have Cancer and you have Alzheimer's." And the old man says "At least I don't have Cancer."
Vote: has 76.96 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, health, old people
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Vote: has 76.91 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, birthday, health, life
You are in my heart, you are in my blood, you are in all my body. Alas, my doc says: "You are a parasite!"
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, flirt, health, mean, romantic