Q: What is the difference between a Vitamin and a Hormone? A: You can't hear a vitamin.
An old man goes to his doctor. The doctor says "I got some bad news for you. you have Cancer and you have Alzheimer's." And the old man says "At least I don't have Cancer."
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory." Friend: "What did he do?" Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
What's the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?" Voice: "This is my father."