The best health jokes

Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?" The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, health
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Vote: has 75.92 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Vote: has 75.66 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Q: Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops? A: Apparently they make you look hard.
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, medical, viagra
Two guys show up in Heaven at the same time. The first guy says he froze to death, and the second guy tells him that he died of a heart attack. "How did that happen?" asks the first guy. "Well, I came home and thought I heard my wife with another man. But when I searched the house, I couldn't find anybody. I was so stricken with remorse for wrongly accusing my wife of infidelity, I had a heart attack and died on the spot." "Geez," says the first guy. "If you'd opened the fridge, we'd both be alive right now."
Vote: has 75.18 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, health, heaven, life, wife
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."  The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, duck, health
Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." Boy: "Really?" Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, medical, Valentines day
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
Vote: has 74.61 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, health
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
Vote: has 74.43 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, birthday, health, life
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
Vote: has 74.40 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health