The best health jokes

Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory." Friend: "What did he do?" Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."
has 78.85 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: doctor, friendship, health, memory, money
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
has 78.68 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, health, life
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
has 77.70 % from 571 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, health
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
has 77.70 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?" Voice: "This is my father."
has 77.70 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dad, health, kids, teacher
Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?" Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor." Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?" Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."
has 77.69 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, health, hospital, life
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
has 77.52 % from 258 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news." "What's the bad news?" asks the accused. "The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it." "What's the good news?" "Your cholesterol is 130."
has 77.17 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, lawyer, prison
The Teacher asked Little Johnny, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?" Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."
has 76.20 % from 317 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, little Johnny, teacher
Q: What is the difference between a Vitamin and a Hormone? A: You can't hear a vitamin.
has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: health, insulting, medical, women
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