Laughing is always good except when you have diarrhea.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
Me: "I only smoke weed because of Cancer." Mom: "You don't have Cancer!" Me: "So it's working..."
Q: What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses? A: Bronchitis.
I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
An old man goes to his doctor. The doctor says "I got some bad news for you. you have Cancer and you have Alzheimer's." And the old man says "At least I don't have Cancer."
What's the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news." "What's the bad news?" asks the accused. "The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it." "What's the good news?" "Your cholesterol is 130."
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."