The best health jokes

My Grandma is in her 90's and she still doesn't need glasses. She just drinks straight out of the bottle.
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, health
Drink water, let's surprise the liver!
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has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, health
Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?" The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory." Friend: "What did he do?" Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."
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has 77.47 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: doctor, friendship, health, memory, money
Laughing is always good except when you have diarrhea.
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has 77.36 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
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has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, health, life
Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.
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has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: friendship, health, memory
Did you hear about the man whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, health
An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for relief. After a search, I found what I was looking for: a selection of heating pads specifically for people with back pain—all on the bottom shelf.
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: customer service, health, mean
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
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has 76.59 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven
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