The best holiday jokes

Postcard from a blonde: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde, holiday
July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, holiday
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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has 47.06 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, holiday
Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving? A: He was very thinkful.
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, holiday, Thanksgiving
Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, holiday
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, geography, holiday
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: holiday, money, wife
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: doctor, holiday, lawyer
Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: holiday, men
An Indian soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Indian army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in a Pakistani tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the Border. As I saw a Pakistani tank. I put my white flag up, the Pakistani tank put his white flag up. I said to the Pakistani soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
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has 4.41 % from 725 votes. More jokes about: holiday, military, time