What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii?
Moo moos.
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An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm.
He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off.
The bartender agrees.
The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis.
The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also".
There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him:
He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room.
I explained that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
"Don't lie to me," he said. "I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
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Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
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Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler.
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What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy.
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos.
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert?
A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert?
A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
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