Joke #12705

Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving? A: He was very thinkful.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, holiday, Thanksgiving

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A paralegal, an associate, and a partner of a prestigious law firm are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you one." "Me first!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with Tom Cruise." Poof! She's gone. "Me next!" says the associate. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the partner. The partner says: "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
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has 78.47 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, genie, holiday, lawyer, women
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey? A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, holiday, Thanksgiving
Q: Why dont blacks celebrate Thanksgiving? A: Because KFC isn't open on holidays.
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has 64.15 % from 1157 votes. More jokes about: black people, holiday, Thanksgiving
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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has 47.02 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, holiday
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day? A: TWERKY!
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music, Thanksgiving
A newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon suite, and it turns out they are both virgins. Brought up the old traditional way, neither of them really knows how to have sex. So after about half a painful hour of abortive attempts to get it on, an idea occurs to the husband. "OK, honey," he says, "this is what we'll do. I'll go into the closet and you go into the bathroom. We'll both get undressed and turn off the lights in the bedroom. And then on the count of three we'll both rush out at each other and then it will just happen in the middle of the bedroom." The wife is a bit unsure about this, but since she doesn't have any better ideas she agrees. So, the husband goes into the closet and the wife goes into the bathroom and they both get undressed. The anticipation is driving the husband mad and as he takes off his clothes he gets an enormous erection. The wife turns off the lights and on the count of three they both rush into the bedroom towards each other. But since the room is dark the husband gets disoriented and runs by his wife — right into the dresser. He hits the dresser so hard that he passes out from the pain. The next thing he remembers is coming to in a hosital bed, with a doctor looking down at him. His throbbing dick is still so painful that he moans to the doctor, "Doc, doc, how bad is it?" "That's nothing, son. Wait till you see your wife! We still haven't gotten her off the doorknob."
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has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: couple, disgusting, doctor, holiday, husband
Q: What is a ghosts favorite snack? A: Boo berries
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: food, Thanksgiving
Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day? A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, food, political, Thanksgiving, time
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
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has 37.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, celebrity, dirty, drug, music
Q: What's brown and white and flies all over? A: Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chainsaw!
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: bird, Thanksgiving