Joke #12705

Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving? A: He was very thinkful.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, holiday, Thanksgiving

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A paralegal, an associate, and a partner of a prestigious law firm are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you one." "Me first!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with Tom Cruise." Poof! She's gone. "Me next!" says the associate. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the partner. The partner says: "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
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has 81.78 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, genie, holiday, lawyer, women
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey? A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, holiday, Thanksgiving
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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has 68.01 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, holiday
Q: Why dont blacks celebrate Thanksgiving? A: Because KFC isn't open on holidays.
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has 66.82 % from 1052 votes. More jokes about: black people, holiday, Thanksgiving
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day? A: TWERKY!
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music, Thanksgiving
A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other. The groom's best friend takes him aside and asks what's wrong. "Well," replies the man, "when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking." "Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," says his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years." "That's not the problem, " the groom says. "She gave me $20 change!"
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has 80.77 % from 343 votes. More jokes about: couple, holiday, love, marriage, money
Bill Gates is judged for bigamy. He says: If you live with two women’s it does not mean bigamy, it means multitasking.
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has 11.59 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, IT
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, holiday, lawyer
One day,little Timmy was at school and heard the word “shit”. He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him “coats and jackets”. Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word “fucking”, and for a second time, asked his father what it meant. His father promptly said “cooking”. Then,he returned to school the third day and heard the words “bitches and hoes”. He went home and his father told him it meant “grandpa and grandma”. Later,on Thanksgiving night,his grandparents came over. Timmy answered the door with glee and says: “Hey bitches and hoes! I’ll take your shit to the closet cause dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"
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has 83.60 % from 1227 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, school, Thanksgiving
If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, drug, weed