Joke #12705

Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving? A: He was very thinkful.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, holiday, Thanksgiving

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A paralegal, an associate, and a partner of a prestigious law firm are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you one." "Me first!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with Tom Cruise." Poof! She's gone. "Me next!" says the associate. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the partner. The partner says: "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
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has 78.47 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, genie, holiday, lawyer, women
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey? A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, holiday, Thanksgiving
Q: Why dont blacks celebrate Thanksgiving? A: Because KFC isn't open on holidays.
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has 64.09 % from 1155 votes. More jokes about: black people, holiday, Thanksgiving
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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has 47.02 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, holiday
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day? A: TWERKY!
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music, Thanksgiving
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
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has 41.06 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, football
Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on its way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, "The pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers." "Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "So, why is their dad carrying that rifle?"
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: church, family, Thanksgiving
While inspecting their honeymoon suite, the bride discovers a little box attached to the bed. "What's this for?" she asks her husband. "If you put a quarter in," he says, reaching into his pocket, "the bed starts vibrating." "Save your money," she says. "When you're a quarter in, I start vibrating."
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has 82.37 % from 350 votes. More jokes about: holiday, husband, marriage
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
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has 71.80 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fish, holiday, sex, wife
One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman." The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats." At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut." A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"
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has 79.51 % from 1369 votes. More jokes about: family, food, little Johnny, sex, Thanksgiving