Yo momma so poor when I walked through her front door I was already out the back door.
A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness." The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you." The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
Your momma is just like a shotgun, give her a cock and she blows.
Your momma so ugly her face is used as an x ray in mortal kombat X.
Yo Mama's so fat that when she bends over, the whole country enters daylight saving.
Yo' Mama is like a blimp: a huge spectacle that's full of gas.
Q: How was break dancing invented? A: Little black kids stealing hub caps off of moving cars.
A lady goes to the doctor, and says: "Doc, I have this smell about me that I can't get rid of no matter what I do. Can you help me?" The doctor says, "yeah I can help you but I'll have to examine you. You'll have to take all your clothes off first." So the lady takes her clothes off. Right away the doctor says, "hold on, I'll be right back." A couple minutes later he comes back with an 8-foot stick that has a little hook on the end of it. The lady says, "oh doctor, what str going to do with that?" And the doctor says, as he's going through the movements of opening a high window, "well I'm going to open the window, it smells like shit in here."
Yo' Mama is so fat, her stair master has a dinner tray attached.
Yo' Mama is so old, she went to an antique shop, and they kept her.