Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness." The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you." The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
Yo mama is so fat Donald Trump used her as the wall.
Yo Momma is so poor when her friend came over to use the bathroom she said ok, choose a corner.
Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year? A: They couldn't find the three wise men!
My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.
Yo' Mama is so old, she dreams in black and white.
Yo mama's so old her breast milk is powdered.
Yo' Mama is so fat, her stair master has a dinner tray attached.
Yo mama so fat she don't take pictures, she takes posters.