Yo' Mama is like a blimp: a huge spectacle that's full of gas.
Your mom is so fat when she jumps all the oceans disappear.
Yo momma so poor when I walked through her front door I was already out the back door.
You are so old, the candles on your birthday cake raised earths temperature by 3 degrees.
Yo Mama's so fat that when she bends over, the whole country enters daylight saving.
Your momma is just like a shotgun, give her a cock and she blows.
Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year? A: They couldn't find the three wise men!
A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness." The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you." The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
Yo mama's so old her breast milk is powdered.
Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.