Yo' Mama is so poor, she rolls her own tampons.
You are so old, you fart dust.
Yo mama so ugly it caused Godzilla to go back to the ocean.
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
Yo mama is so fat it took her three whole months to get through a door.
Yo mama so ugly when she auditioned for a horror movie they sent her to a professional!
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
Yo mama's so fat that, after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
Yo mama so hairy when she went to space the aliens thought she was chubacco.