The best insulting jokes

Yo' Mama is so ugly, she has to sneak up to water fountains to get a drink.

Yo' Mama is so fat, the donut shop accused her of stealing their jelly rolls.

Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo' mama so stupid, she walked into an antique shop and asked, "What's new?"

Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse? Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.

Yo mommas so black that when she walked outside the street lights turned on.

A white boy and a black boy were arguing one day. The white boy screams "God is white!" The black boy screams "God is black!" This goes on and on for about an hour when all of a sudden there comes a loud crack of lightning and the heavens open up and a booming voice says "I am what I am." The white boy jumps up and says "See, I told you so!" To which the black boy says "How does that prove God's white?" The white boy replies "Because if God were black he would have said, "I is what I is."

The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately. "Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, hot and sexy, female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat old slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, mean and dangerous! " The captain responds, "Patricia, I've told you this before. This is Air Force One..."

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.

NOTE: This joke is only for those who recently had a brain transplant. DO NOT read ahead unless you don't mind being offended. You're still reading this, aren't you, asshole?