Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Yo Mama's so fat, she makes Johana Hill look superbad at gaining weight.
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.
Yo mama so fat when she looks in the mirror the mirror said: "oh no get out the way."
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
Yo mama is so fat it took her three whole months to get through a door.
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
Yo mamma so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass.
Yo mama so fat that she could use a bra as a parachute
Q: Why don't fat people were turtlenecks?
A: Because turtles are now endangered.