Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
Knock knock! Who's there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work. To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen? O2.zip
What is a cursor? Someone having computer problems.
How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist? An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
Q: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? A: Lost.
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.